He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So much Jack, so little girl.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
