Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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