did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
