can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
