I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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