i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
