but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
