we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
