the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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