I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize