Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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