what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Oh god it's open bar.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
