There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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