I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
