I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The feeling are messing with the penis
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
