And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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