We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize