This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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