So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
