is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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