I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
