My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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