i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
