Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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