on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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