I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
