I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
high people should be assigned attendants
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
