Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize