When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
