Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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