Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
