I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The adults are the big ones right?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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