"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
