shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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