Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
