While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
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Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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