I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
