I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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