I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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