Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
