Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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