Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
