i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
As shirtless as possible
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
