I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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