im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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