just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
