Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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