I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
