She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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