It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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