Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
