Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This is my gift to your gina
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
