Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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