Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
