we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
