Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
