is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
