can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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